HEART OF SOUTH BEACH, NEAR BEACH AND LINCOLN ROAD, POOL, PARKING FROM $1000/WK!*

Well, this apartment was relatively clean, and nicely furnished on its face. The balcony overlooks the pool area and is pleasant, and the beds are relatively comfortable with good bedding. The location is OK (actual walking times are about 10 minutes to Lincoln Rd Mall, and 30 minutes to the beach). But under the thin veneer of luxury here, too many items are missing or non-functional for a rental of this price. The windows and blinds are all broken, and some do not close. There is no "ipod player" as advertised. No dial tone on the phone. Internet use requires that you log in via a web interface every time you go online. The "fully equipped" kitchen lacked a frying pan or spatula. We had to supply our own coffee filters and trash bags as well. The stove pilot doesn't work and needs to be lit with a match each time. The oven doesn't work at all. The microwave works, but there is no microwave-safe dish that fits in it. The toaster is barely functional and missing its handle. The dishes and blender were crusted with food and covered with ants upon our arrival. The shower faucet fell off in my hand. The table and chairs are all badly broken, and eating is an exercise in circus-like balancing. Parking is street-only, and the passes work, but the closest available spots are typically about 4 blocks away in the nearby lot. There are ugly signs on every door and appliance explaining in gory detail the draconian rules and restrictions. There is no laundry facility on the grounds, so you'll need to visit the coin laundry a half-mile away. The property manager, Ingrid, has been working hard to accommodate us, and fill in what gaps she can, which is nice, though we've had to deal with unannounced repairmen coming and going in the apartment.. We are also surrounded by constant loud construction noise, starting at about 7:30AM each morning. In short, this place is way too much work for a "vacation" rental.